"Soul-making"

Amanda has been reading one of my favorite writers, May Sarton. It was all I could do to get home and find my books again and begin to read... here is something I found and one of the reasons I love her writing:
from Journal of a Solitude by May Sarton, "Letting go, I have come back yesterday and today to a sense of my life here in all its riches, depth, freedom for soul-making."

Here, is Yazoo City, and our little place in this world, where we live and where we grew up and where we raised our babies to be children and then adults and now parents. Here is still where we live, in this one little place where we awake and we sleep and we work, where we watch, together all the days go by. Yes, here we are rich with each other, with our friends, with our families, with all Gods creation. Here we are rooted so deep that there is no storm that could blow us apart. We, Jody and I, are one, yet we are two. We are so uniquely different, but so much alike, we are two souls, and soulmates. I come back over and over to this place in my life, in all its riches, depth and soul-making, and I am so thankful.

One ray of sunshine

It has been a cold and rainy winter. I know what my grandmother meant when she said "I feel the damp in my bones." Me too. It has been a good winter for painting, for which I am thankful, because there was nothing else to do outdoors, much to do inside, but I prefer to paint when I get to control the choices. I recall once or twice seeing the
sun break through a cloud to send a glimpse of hope into a dreary day to remind me that
the sun will shine again. I have always suffered with a certain degree of depression -
not in a really bad way but in a way that makes really happy days wonderful - I consider that this winter has been just a depressed moment with a cloud hanging overhead just waiting to lift and expose the most beautiful day on earth.

I am thankful for these differences in weather and in my own body. It is something to
look forward to, breakthroughs of sun, happiness, into dreariness. I feel it coming, like I feel the damp in my bones. A light coming from Heaven, just one ray of sunshine.

Age

I was 26 when mother was my age - 58. I wish I could go back and talk to her now at that age. Her hair was long enough to put into a french twist, but I never remember seeing it long and brushed out, it was always wrapped up and secured to her head by long
hair pins. I remember that she asked me over and over again "Do I look old?" Mother had wonderful skin, really smooth and pretty. She didn't have a lot of crows feet around her eyes because she didn't smile very much, but no she never looked old to me.
She looks old, fragile, now. Wilting a little like a delicate little flower, whose petals are becoming more and more transparent holding on by a brittle little thread to its stem. She doesn't ask me anymore if she looks old.


And I think in 26 years I'll be her age and I'll look old and fragile too. I see all the signs of it every time I look in the mirror. The difference is I have LOTS of crows feet around my eyes. And I hope that as I age they get deeper and deeper from smiling
too much.

Exercise...or the lack of

No. I did not make a new years resolution to get fit - I did that last year. I bought one, no two exercise tapes to workout in my painting studio while I'm not painting. I used them twice. Each one, once. I really hate admitting this to myself that I am basically lazy when it comes to exercising. I love to walk on a pretty day, the key word is pretty day.

I guess that because I ordered my tapes online, the get fit fast exercise people have my e.mail address. They write to me each day. I think that they know I'm not using the tapes - they know because I do not respond to the questions about how many inches I have lost. I have lost no inches, hopefully I have not gained inches but I won't find out because I won't measure.
Measuring is against my nature. It is a number thing. I don't like numbers and I don't intend to make friends with them now. I can tell when I'm gaining inches by the way my clothes fit and today they fit.

I know I need to exercise, and I really look forward to the next pretty day and hopefully I will go out and walk faster than usual. Miracles do happen, I keep telling myself.

House Hunting

Jody and I are in Birmingham after being in Nashville to House Hunt for Faith and Chris who are getting married and moving
there in March. They are in LA , California (not lower Alabama) and it was Jody's suggestion that we drive to Nashville and look at the places they were interested in. We did see some really sweet places, one especially that was brand new and still in the right price range - but it was too new and clean. It lacked character, there wouldn't be enough problems to contend with for the
young couple with lots of energy and a liking for things with a little grunge. So here is a photo of a porch connected to an older home with lots of character -one we found that I thought they would really love. Even though the stuff does not come with the house I thought it showed promise. And it was right next door to some old hippie that I felt sure they would just love.

We found this house by driving up and down streets, one after another looking for "for rent" signs. Jody and I looked like we were watching a tennis match while driving - look to the right and to the left and to the right and to the left... and did I mention that
it was 29 degrees? But I do believe we helped find town house that will fit their needs - for one year until they can find a grungier house.

Mia is two!

This is what it looks like to be two! Nothing except blowing out that candle that matters. It took 5 tries and some big puffs to get that candle out finally. Can you remember what that kind of cake tastes like? vanilla flavored shortening, sweet enough to make me shakey for days. I can't allow myself even one bite, but it sure was fun watching her stuff it in her mouth and smile.

Mother's deodorant

Question to mother last time she was here and holding a bottle of Phillips Milk of Magnesia. "Are you sick?" "no. its my new deodorant. I heard it works as a deodorant."
Jody and I looked it up on the Milk of Magnesia site and they claim that along with curing a sour stomach, it also cures underarm odor. Why I never thought about the fact that anything that helps a sour stomach could help sour armpits is beyond me. I scratch my head in wonder at all the useful things just sitting around that I could be using for multi purposes. Why just the other day Jody said that the armadillo deterrent that he bought was 90% garlic powder. Sprinkle it across the lawn and the armadillo won't step or stick his nose near it. I'll never forget the time we threw moth balls all over the lawn to keep the dog from using the bathroom in the flower beds, can you guess how that smelled? It smelled like the elderly man in church on any given winter sunday.

So I have gone to the google in search of strange uses for everday products and here are a few:
*the next time you men run out of shaving cream just lather on whipped cream - yummy
*Powdered milk, water and watercolor powder can be used to paint your house - that is of course in climates where there is no rainfall.
*coat cut up sponges with petroleum jelly to make great fish bait.
*"consider" (the key word here) using a blow dryer on a low setting to help calm middle of the night ear pain in kids. (yes, I would "consider" this very carefully)
*Turn the vacuum cleaner on the help relieve the cries of colicky babies (they failed to say turn the vacuum cleaner on in YOUR room so YOU CAN"T HEAR the cries of the baby.
what'd you say??

I said my stomach hurts! Well here, take some Milk of Magnesia and while your at it...
Down the hatch
or under the arm
Milk of Magnesia
Works like a charm.

Pollyanna

Flashback. I am 13.

The Yazoo Theater was on Washington Street and it was .25 cents to stay for a whole afternoon of movies. While everyone else was in love with Elvis and Elvis films, my heroine was Hayley Mills, and my most favorite film was Pollyanna.

The movie is about an orphan (Pollyanna) who goes to live with her stern aunt (Aunt Polly). Her philosophy on life was to find something good in every situation, something she called the "glad game". No matter how bad a situation is, there is something to be glad about. She slowly changes a whole town with her approach to life, teaching them that it is better to see the bright side than the gloomy side of life.

Now, I'm 56. I am ever aware of lifes hardships. I was in the grocery one day and overhearing a conversation between two women who were discussing hard times, illnesses, and worries. "But I am thankful, yes Lord, God is good." "And times are going to get better, and aren't we just happy for this day." It was a Pollyanna moment. Finding the best in the worst of times, people, or life is not easy, but it is possible and it's certainly more pleasing to look for the rainbow instead of the storm.