Reality

Its a rainy Saturday. The kind of day that requires a good book or reflection. The first two months of the year have been quite busy, putting mother in an assisted care home, bringing another grandchild into the world and assisting her young mother, my daughter Catherine, with all the things that a new mom can't do on her own, without help. My new role in this stage of my life is - helper. It is all I can be as I have found that I can't be more than that. I want to do all and the reality is that I am not capable of it.

Reality is finding its way into all areas of my life these days - in my life as an artist, as a wife, as a mother, a daughter, a friend. The backdrop behind my stage is constantly going up and coming down, its half and half right now and looks in quite a mess as I see it. Is it an organized mess? Well, I suppose in some respect it is, but much like my dining room table right now, I seem to be the only one who knows what is going on. Sometimes.

As much as I would love to clean it up, my stage has to stay that way for a little longer, as with me; my life, my world, my existence. I don't have the time to sit and figure out where all my pieces are going and I loathe puzzles, despise them. I must take one role at a time and set that stage- play that role,and act the part (yes, acting is often required). I am looking forward to the day that I get to be part of the audience and watch someone else perform. Right now the reality is that I'm it, with the leading role and I'm not sure I'm ready for the next act.